Thursday, January 21, 2010

Stars and Stripes

Stars and Stripes:


Do you watch American Idol? Is it in your “can’t miss” category of weekly scheduling? What about Dancing with the Stars? Watch the Daily Show? Are you familiar with Lindy Lohan’s complete rap sheet or the daily challenges for Brittany Spears? Obviously these are rhetorical questions that beg the question: How pervasive is the cult of celebrity in the United States? Anyone who has an opinion can express it without fear of having the government prohibiting free non-threatening expression. That’s chiseled in the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States. Many of the pop culture stars have opinions, and they share them freely and frequently. What puzzles me is that so many people view the celebrity statements as serious and worthy of consideration. Just because someone has attained a level of “stardom,” doesn’t necessarily mean that their opinions are notable. If the celeb has done something that merits our attention and has “walked the walk,” then perhaps their pronouncements should be considered. Otherwise having a high “Q” rating or positive name identification does not translate into knowledge about public policy. When a star has earned her/his stripes, then I’ll listen. A final example is celebrity assuming more credibility than it deserves is the Wednesday morning headline on the “Drudge Report” suggesting that Scott Brown may/should run for president. Give me a break; he hasn’t yet gotten a key to the Capitol men’s room. One of the big problems with a professional political class (like Mandarin eunuchs) is the assumption that the politico will be seeking the next higher office. Service? What service?


Crockpots and Skillets:

As I have struggled with my newly formed political I.D., I’ve been searching for a metaphor that accurately and picturesquely describes my sense of the two-party duopoly.

I believe that our country is firmly on the path toward tyranny. The power of government at all levels is growing. In my view it’s an ominous evolution that will stifle the human spirit. The progressives and their cohorts are cooking my goose in a skillet. Hot and fast with a splattering of grease. Unfortunately, some people get burned, but every cook drops an egg once in a while. The “conservatives,” on the other hand, use a crockpot to heat my honker. A little expansion of Medicare RX here, a tiny bit of eroded rights there, a smaller tax increase over there, just a pinch of further regulation, and Viola’ add a spoon full of sugar (rhetoric) and the dinner will go down.

Progressives/statists have no boundaries. They want to control it all (except themselves). They surge forward, gobbling up power as fast as they can. Conservatives (picture tweed jacket, bow tie and horned-rim glasses) say, “Government should not overreach, there are limits, and to prove it, we will draw those limits with this pencil.” Libertarians say, “Wait a minute! Drawing with a pencil is worthless; you’ll continue to move the line. Go back to the Constitution, and stay within the boundaries. If you want to move the line, then amend it.” Skillets and crockpots…either way your goose gets cooked.


Comment or email: cnpearl@woh.rr.com

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Frosty Pause

This morning my dog, Frosty, and I were having a conversation. I know what you’re thinking. People in the various stages of senility often hear voices or wander around nursing homes while pant less and muttering with unseen entities. I don’t think Frosty is getting senile. He’s a Golden Retriever very much like Duke, the Bush’s Baked Bean dog, so I’m not shocked that he can speak. Unlike Duke, however, I’ve never seen Frosty dress in drag. Back on point: Frosty and I were in the truck and discussing the current social/political situation in Ohio and the U.S. of A.


Frosty was rather animated about what the Scott Brown victory in Massachusetts might suggest for a “controlling government” movement. He thought a victory by a Republican in a state (actually a commonwealth) like Massachusetts was evidence that the people had finally awakened. His reasoning was that although D’s outnumbered R’s by more than three to one, the electorate has discovered that big government solutions are nearly always ineffective, inefficient and counter productive. Frosty’s vehement condemnation of big government took me by surprise.

“Frosty,” said I,” I didn’t know that you were such a vociferous opponent huge government programs. Have you always felt this way?” Frosty nodded his golden mane and replied,” I have always believed this, but the healthcare take-over really focused my senses.”

“How so?” I asked. The three and a half year old dog ( 21+ in human years) explained.

“I know all about government health care and its intrusive overreaching,” he sighed. “You know that at the shelter when they put dogs up for adoption, they insist that they be neutered before they’re released,” he explained, “that’s why I seem to be a little light in the loafers at times…government rules, bureaucratic regulations, and do-gooder intentions have severely impacted my lifestyle. My instinctive impulse to lick myself has been radically short-circuited.”

“Ah, I see,” I thoughtfully replied. “Government-run all-species health has some advantages, though, what about how it controls the cat population?” Lifting his lip in that sneering look of his, he remarked, “Cats should be controlled. They’re too lazy to go outside and do their ‘business.’ They just lie around all day while those stupid litter boxes stink up the place. Cats are already on the dole. They already get health care even though they are not productive members of critter society.”

“Cats catch rodents,” I countered. “They’re not totally useless.” He succinctly answered, “D-Con’s cheaper and doesn’t smell as bad.” Apparently Frosty and I had reached an impasse about the merits of a federal health care plan. As we left the highway and turned onto our country road…headed for home, I asked him for a sensible solution to our policy differences.

“Feedbag (he calls me, Feedbag),” he said. “President Obama is a Democrat, progressive, big-government run everything, all-the-time advocate. You, dear Feedbag, have just defended the Republican, semi-progressive, big-government run many things, most-of-the-time position. The answer is to restrain the government to its Constitutional limits. Restrict it to very few duties and responsibilities and insist on transparency and accountability. Let the citizens and the private sector handle the rest. More choices equal more freedom. More freedom yields more opportunity. More opportunity generates better living for all!”

“Wow, Frosty, that was profound,” I exclaimed! “You should run for office as a Libertarian.”

“Hey, Bonehead,” he responded. “I can’t register, and I can’t vote. It doesn’t seem fair at all. Hell, in Chicago and Philly, dead people vote. In Milwaukee and St. Louis imaginary people vote. Why can’t critters vote?”

“Not too loud,” I cautioned, “the Dems may be listening.”

As we pulled up to the barn, Frosty informed me that he was starting an organization called FLAC—Freedom Loving American Canines. He described it as an ACORN for critters. I wished him well as I unloaded the truck, but I silently dreamed that he would sell that magical bean recipe for megabucks.

Comment or email:  cnpearl@woh.rr.com